First off...

HAPPY JULY 4TH TO EVERYONE!

Next...

I have an announcement to make.

On this splendid America Day of 2021, I have made a startling discovery, one that has completely upended my insight on american cuisine. A discovery so great that it has me rethinking all my opinions on food.

It turns out fast-food franchises such as McDonalds and Burger King have nothing compared to homemade American-styled grilled beef burgers fresh from a BBQ grill. It was so good that I'm sitting here in a post-food haze just thinking about it hours after the party finally ended.

I attended a lakeside picnic celebrating July 4th, and they were making real burgers on a BBQ grill. Despite my initial misgivings about eating burgers, I stuck around and watched as the iron chef in charge of the grill assembled those krabby pa- uh I mean beef burgers. Compared to the offerings from fast food franchises, these burgers were on such a different level, that this...

...is what the insides of my brain probably looked like at the time.

The meat was prepared to perfection, backed with chop suey, broth and eggs. Then grilled just so to add some 'give' to it while being easy to chew. The broth added a new layer of incredible juiciness to make it EXTRA GOOD. The top-grade beef really must be something else. The veggies were crisp and the cheese was perfectly set in. The SECRET FORMULA (sauce) really rounded out the whole offering perfectly. Unfortunately, no Yogi Bears showed up to sneak off with the Pic-a-nic baskets. That'd have been surreal if that happened. Maybe the fireworks scared them off? lolololol

Speaking of fireworks, there's something amazing about watching a variety of fireworks bloom in the night sky while chowing down on some scrumptious burgers. Overall, it was a really fun time, and I made sure to thank the hosting family for their amazing hospitality before heading home. I hope they stay in the neighborhood for a good long time. I'd like to join them again next year for another fun America Day party.

Now I'm gonna go buy nukuler reactors for no reason.

"Is that a nuclear reactor?!"

"No. Nukuler."

UPDATE: So yeah, while I was at the internets party, I got word about this.

Turns out there's a sneaky new malware on the scene that does some evil shit to your accounts and computer. Here's the virustotal report for this thing, in case you wanted some extra information on this critter. Stay safe out there.

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Well, it's the 22nd of June again. Time for me to spend the rest of the day getting drunk, opening internet presents while listening to a crude mash of anime music, slav hardbass and of course, obligatory for any birthday bash, 80s rock and roll music!.

I wasn't able to clock out of work as early as I wanted to today, but even if I did end up coming home late, it was pretty swell to see well wishes and birthday presents, some of them from a day before today - time zones, how DO they work?!.

Not that I mind - in fact, I see it as an excuse for extend the partying by 3 days! -moreparty.gif-

Stuff I got for my birthday.

Books!

"Books are the real treasures of the world!" - Skeletor

Music!

RECORDER BIRTHDAY

Holy shit I swear it was Ren-chon playing the flute just for me. [DEATH BY DIABEETUS X_X]

[one low-budget reset by the Great Will of the Macrocosm later...]

Now I'm gonna go back to play this game I actually owned back in 1990. Work was pretty intense today and I need to rest for a bit before I can jam out to the music again. There's much to do, lots of amazing new projects in the works - but just for today, I'll be taking it easy with an old-school classic favorite.

Why is this simple game so much fun

EDIT: OH CRUD MORE PRESENTS INCOMING!

I GOT THE DVD SET OF THE FIRST K-ON! ANIME OH SHIT!!!!111eleventyone

Well damn, this happened a little faster than I thought it would. And you know what that means, right? It's time to put that insane ol' master plan into action!

IIIIIIIIIIITS CIRNO!

-

So here's the thing that seems like the sort of wild success I managed to hit with the MLP Sim Date all those years ago. I was not expecting something this simple to be such a big hit here, but you know what they say - "don't let your memes be dreams". I'd like to give a special thanks to @Chdonga for the inspiration to drunkenly create this game and to @SevenTheEasterBunny for all the motivation and encouragement that made this project go from a mess of animations and badly coded buttons to the thing you all have enjoyed so much.

To me, the early 00s was a magical time, and to see the reviews where they mention how this game takes them back to this awesome time before the end of the world, that's a big achievement to me. As Shia Lebouf said 'DO IT! JUST DO IT!". Liquid courage helped out with that, but what was more important was the inspiration and encouragement I received from the project director and producer, and everyone who field-tested the early prototypes, ran QC checks and gave a lot of useful advice. I'll keep all this good advice in mind, because I've already started work on the next project.

Before we go on, though... lemme just say; Southern-style fried catfish is delicious!

Still, I was dead drunk when I put it together, so the code needed to be cleaned up somewhat. No plan, no prototype and no backup's great and all, but the cleanup turned out to be a lot of trouble (as seen in the funky errors caused during early release). But on the bright side, I understand how it works now.

Always comment your code!

I was surprised that ruffle actually managed to interpret that mess of code the first time around. It's a far cry from the early versions that would wig out when made to run a simple loop. Now that is impressive. Between this game and Robot Finds Kitten, I believe I can standardize all of my releases for ruffle compatibility now. One of these days, I'll actually do that.

Though, I did find some issues with ruffle, now that I took some time to push it to the limit. For one, it cannot render japanese characters in dynamic texts just yet, while the same output in flash works just right. While this basically breaks any game with the text in dynamic mode, a lot of .jp swf files I snagged from japanese internets and 4chan /f/ back in the day are pretty much unusable in ruffle for the time being. Darn shame, too. I hope that this is just early version weirdness and hey, given their track record with making things properly working... I hope it gets fixed real soon.

...when it does work, maybe I'll add that extra Samurai Shodown-inspired death variant with gold coins spilling everywhere and japanese text as a finisher to the katana-based attacks like I wanted to in the first place...

-

So, what next? I've done some work to streamline and perfect this new gametype's core system so it can run without being dependent on redundant and frankly horrible implementations of badly-written code like it was on its initial test. The last refit was particularly nice, and I hope I can make more of this type of games in the future. Learning and DRUNK SCIENCE sure is fun!

All I need is some free time and some alcohol to get those li'l hamster wheels in my brains rollin'.

Regardless of my irl situation - shitty as it is, the game development will continue! Non-stop! Topless! Akai! Aoi! AIUEO! Basugasubakuhatsu! (If you know where this is from, lemme know. I'll give you something nice!).

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In other, but equally important news, my friend JohnnyGuy has been having some tough times. I'd appreciate it if you went over there and gave him some kind words of encouragement, help and support.

EDIT: 1,000 fans!!??!?! This is madness!

Madness? THIS IS NEWGROUDS! *kicks myself off the wall for no reason*

---

PS: What do I draw now that the numbers milestone is done? What should I draw next? And for what number?

Well, that didn't take long.

888+ fans! I've been a bit slow on the production front this year because IRL was death incarnate (DEY TOOK MAI JERB!!11), but this is the sort of thing that really drives home the motivation. Hitting that milestone means its time for ART!

Pretty cute, ain't she. I ended up going for a comfy/cyberpunk combo this time. Next time I hit 999 fans, I'm definitely drawing Cirno. You just watch!

Now, you might be here for some exclusives. Wait no more, these are flashes thought long lost after a disaster in 2014, I present..

The Tsundere School Tutorial!

Originally designed (more like drunkenly cobbled together) in early 2014 to help some fellow members get a handle on flash AS2 coding and understand the basics of animation and coding, you can tell this is one of my earlier works. I had to clean up some code before uploading this because, whooey, it honestly wasn't that good. Still, I hope you find some use out of it.

The second exclusive: The triumphant return of Sex Kitten 7! 

Those goddamn commie nazis up at the RIAA somehow thought that a short extract from a music piece was a litigious offense, and newgrounds had to remove it from the collection. I replaced the classic Aphex Twin music with a continued loop of the game music composed by OG forkheads music talent Rellis. Seriously, what kind of shit was that. It was a short segment for use in the credits ffs! I bet those goose-stepping megacorp crackheads would do away with fair use and parody if they had the chance...

[Angry rant about copyright goes here]

... I really should have done this back when I got 777 fans, huh. Oh well.

Moving on... 

So, what have I been upto these days? Well...

As the games I made grew ever more complex, with my friend @johnnyguy mentioning that the last one was 'by far the most lengthy and directionally confusing in the game ive played', I'm adding the next, much-requested feature in; an integrated navigation system to the next game in the works! Building off the map used in Negima Sim Date and putting a modern touch to it, check out the previews here!

Obvious beta is obvious, but yeah - I intend to fully flesh this out as an interactive map for you to explore. With this done, I hope you all won't be getting lost now in the game world now, huehuehuehue. Hell, maybe I should do the same for SKOB now that I think about it. It would make it a little easier to play, right?

Also, have another preview of the work in progress that's Sex Kitten Casino!

A scenic view made by my friend @joshexdirad for this game. You can use the binoculars to check out all the awesome detail he put into this work, too! Also, the help file now properly describes the controls, AND had information on the 'running' function as well. No more having to be stuck at an uncomfortable pace! Zip around the building like the hyperactive ADHD Arne you were destined to be!

In other news, with the superb success of Sticker Tycoon,

I've started working on a brand new business sim game that DOESN'T involve so much clicking. Can't reveal too much details about this, but if you've played Dopewars for DOS or Dealer right here on newgrounds, you probably have some idea what it's gonna be about. Will it involve the forkheads classics? Duh, of course. Will there be over-the-top violence and comically-bad pickup lines? Hell yeah!

And here ends the update for now. Thanks for being swell, all 888+ fans and everyone else who has been reading up to this point so far (YES, YOU! READING THIS RIGHT NOW!). I hope you all have a good day in general, and an awesome spooktober in particular!

PS: Go check out the contest that @SevenSeize4President is running here!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

to all you ker-razy yankees out there!

MURRICA, FUCK YEAH!

Here's hoping you yankees and everyone else who celebrates this holiday has a great time of it!

Now Imma go set off some fireworks and randomly shoot guns an' stuff, 'cause MURRICA!

-

So, what exactly is the good news? Remember in my last update that I lost my job due to Corona-chan being dimicky? Turns out, I got my old job back and I'll be in the workforce starting July 15th. I was about 10% through my emergency reserves when the big scare was over and done with.

Its not exactly a fun job, to be sure - but it's kept me in the black for a good two years and I'm honestly glad that I'll be getting access to my work computer where I left some of my game projects waiting. I was kinda bummed because I kept thinking I'd have to rebuild them all for scratch, so this is sort of a huge relief. I should have been more careful and emailed all the project stuff to myself beforehand.

ah well, lessons learned.

Also, I'd like to take this moment to thank everyone who sent in those technical manuals I've been looking for. You people couldn't have given me a better birthday present! I'll definitely use these tomes of mystical knowledge for... you guessed it, even better game development!

Time for me to get EXTRA DRUNK... is what I said earlier today. What a party, though. Too bad I fell asleep in the afternoon...

Do I get a midlife crisis now? The 8-ball says no. Maybe next time...

-----

Moving on, it's time for YET ANOTHER STUPID ADVENTURE!

It's been way too long since we had one of these games. I plan to correct that RIGHT NOW DEGOZARU.

THE STORY SO FAR (Yeah right):

Our hero(YOOOOOU), newly rich after his latest misadventures - gets in trouble with what appears to be the extended family of the McSluts... or so you think! Can our intrepid sex god (YOU!) manage to put together a force of perverted fun before his nuts get used as a shower cap?

This game comes with not one, not two - but THREE different endings! Inviting all 20 girls to your summer pool party will take guts and moxie... and a whole lot of Diligence. Pay attention to what the girls have to say, heck - talk to the dog that temporarily joins your adventures for a bit if you want some advice. Can you put together an awesome pool party, and get the magic good? Or will you do things your way? The outcome might be a little different from what you're expecting...

File size: 7.4Mb

I hope you have as much fun playing this game as I had making it!

-

So, what have I been upto aside from losing my job and getting stuck indoors due to Corona-chan's World Tour? First off, I saw the writing on the wall early on january and started stockpiling supplies and food - and there's plenty more stored so far. I'd say I'm down to 80% of my full reserves, so - plenty of time to relax, take it easy - maybe do volunteer work for free meals. In other news, I've started to spread my portfolio out - starting with some amateur-level music that's completely free for people to use in their own game projects and movies here on newgrounds.

Check out the latest 'productions' below

-

In other news, I finally took a look at some of my unpublished projects when I didn't even know how to assemble a proper music player. Which one do you think should make a dramatic comeback with fresh new tunes, working code and smooth animation?

is it Amy Winehouse's Magic Drug Adventure?

or Mario's Flag Collab?

what about The Treehouse?

Lemme know what you think in the comments!

-

Speaking of projects, here's some choice previews from the latest projects being worked on! Check 'em out, lemme know what you think; maybe throw in some ideas?

Reel #1: Negima Sim Date - 0.41b.

Finished the addition of a hidden character's completed route! To unlock this route, you'll have to do a great job at teaching in class, and catch that mystery babe's attention... this route doesn't have chapters per se, but following it to the end unlocks a brand new ending AND allows Endless Summer Mode to be unlocked!

Calendar system to help you keep track of ingame events and more! The blue marks are 'inbuilt' holidays while green marks will show up as you play the game and get information about random events taking place in the world. The helpful memo pops out whenever a day is highlighted to detail what happens. Pingasuary 9th is a very interesting day, and you should keep this in mind.

EVEN IN YOUR DATING SIM, F.O.E!

Incidentally, the HP counter can now be switched by clicking the meter from physical number to % counter by popular request.

Reel #2: Sex Kitten Casino.

This game was supposed to be released today, but the sheer complexity of its new engine and the fact that some of our asset artists went MIA due to Corona-chan's rampage around the world is why you're looking at this preview today!

Project Casino sports a souped-up new game engine that knocks Sex Kitten RPG2's clear out of the water. When you see it...

Did ya see that? Complete stage control! The floor textures aren't quite done yet, but you get the idea, right? This new game engine's gonna be kickass I tell ya what. Also, I did the pixel art for those casino dealer babes. Who knew that I skill I picked up almost 20 years ago could come in handy today?

-

2020 is turning out to be a pretty good year in regard to project work. I'll get more done when the room stop spinning... But for now I must sign off, due to the fact that - as per ancient tradition, I'm gonna be yelling like Super Yukari.

Welcome to the FUTURE, where the PROBLEMS OF THE FUTURE, is officially TODAY!!

Also, happy belated new year!

I've always wanted to do something for pixel day these past few years, but every time I remembered - it was already too late. Not hours or days; sometimes it'd slip my mind for weeks, even months! So this time, I got my act together for pixel day...

Yeah right, I wish.

It's not a full-fledged game, artwork or animation, but still I managed to do SOMETHING this year. Behold! It's a spritesheet of our very own Pico!

Comes complete with alternative costume, poses, weapons, items, a bazooka and more!

I used to do this kind of thing a lot back in the early 00s, so working on this was kind of nostalgic. Who knows, you could find it to be of great use.

I should make a sheet for Darnell, Nene, the goth bunch and the uberkids next.

-----------------

So what else have I been up to?

Well, between comically failing two exams, trying to work on projects, and then dealing with some mad outtakes at work that fall right into 'HOW NOT TO RUN A BUSINESS 101' territory, not much. I did make a new years' resolution to get gud in Japanese and finish N5 this year.

I'm not sure how well I'll do since I failed on that last year; but hey, 20% is at least something. I'll keep at it.

Now I have to go and get my act together.

Get my act together...

Get my act together...

Get my act together...

It's Day 9, of Month 9, of year 2xx9!

10 years have passed since that fateful day in 2009, and let's celebrate this most idiotic of days by BLASTIN' CIRNO PICS!

To me, you are the strongest.

For you had the strongest effect on my heart.

PS: Summer was hell. I'm glad Cirno's there.

Oh shi-

First off, as per tradition: THANKS 777+ FANS!

Hmm, that also means this is news #100. So instead of wasting your time talking about the predictably boring bits of my life, lets jump right over to the good stuff.

First off.... ART!

Since my friend Vixuzar isn't ar-OH SUP @ghxulers! GET OVER HERE 'CAUSE WE HAVE A PARTY GOIN' AND YOUSE INVITED!!!. I don't know what I'll draw when I hit 888 fans (help!) - but no worries, I'll definitely draw a Chiruno at 999 fans!

Speaking of projects... Sticker Tycoon's finally released!

Well, it started off as an injoke, but now its real. I guess that 'dont let your dreams be memes' has some wisdom to it after all.

Without further ado, lets take a look at it...

Original idea from: https://web.archive.org/web/20150711211645/https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1383362

The story:

24901miles finds a box of sticker paper which was mailed by accident by a really badly-run company that's pretty much about to commit sudoku 41 times. Hooray, the dangers of outsourcing!

Feb 5, 2015.

That's when newgrounds user 24901miles got around a thousand dollars worth of sticker paper in the mail and shared the news with the regulars of that time. By the time the next day had rolled around, discussion had started in earnest and newgrounds user Ronald-McDonald-LoL mentions that "Sticker Tycoon" would be, quote "sounds like the worst video game ever." when 24901miles idly mentions dreams of being a Sticker Tycoon.

That's when I started work on this game.

I didn't even know half the things I know now back then. Four years in the making, constantly sidelined by other, more interesting projects until it stands no more a prototype experimental, but a fully operational business sim (I hope). I hope you have fun playing this game as much as I had fun making this thing for the last 4 years.

This game is around 4.1Mb. This game requires at least 40Kb of hard disk space for save game files. 

NOTE: Some browsers don't support local object creation, and that may be why your save files aren't working right on it.

For further information, see this thread: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1439483

Version 1.075

Play it here, and leave a review if you enjoyed it/found any bugs!

-

In other news, I'm also 34 years old as of today. Its been an interesting life, and instead of getting a midlife crisis, I'll work on more '34' stuff, bwahahaha! Y'all like that, don'tcha.

-

Once again, a special shoutout to the 777+ of my fans who's been an inspiration through thick and thin, through good times and bad. I really dont know how I'm gonna celebrate when I get 888 fans... help?

Thank you, thanks again - and look forward to more projects coming up now that I don't have to contend with over-working! Expect to see the next installment of your favorite sex kitten game series out later this summer! (so far, its done by 40%)

PS: Have a preview of my next project(s).

(This building's the 'save point'.)

and

e's done jinxed it now, hombre. Dohohoho...

PPS: Making Sticker Tycoon was a learning experience. I might try my hand at different genres and even more business sims that aren't such a clickfest later on...

PPPS: Seriously. I have no idea what I'll draw when I hit 888 fans. Help me out here?

PPPPS: I got banned from heaven for this.

PPPPPS: PARTY HATS FOR EVERYONE! YOU GET FREE RECIPE FOR PARTY HAT!

PPPPPPS: These postscripts are getting silly. I'll stop.

You remember what invisionfree is?

Well, it's gone. Been gone a while. I just realized it today.

Feels bad man.